First love

It is certainly no cliché to suggest that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Any Christian who wanders from intimacy with Jesus into the wasteland of religious apostasy, is seldom guided by bad motives. On the contrary, the departure is often well-intended–even validated by other well-meaning colleagues. This shift, or more aptly , ever-so-subtle drift, sees one’s first love for Christ gradually eroded by the pressures of religious service. A lesser love gains ascendency over the greater, the love of Christ is replaced with a love for the ‘ministry of Christ’–the truly great exchanged for the merely good.

The Departure:

The Greek word apostasia, literally means ‘to stand away from’, to move away from a warm position of embracing commonly held religious beliefs and practices, toward a cool unorthodox existence. In popular religious understanding apostasy is largely viewed doctrinally, an abandonment of the primary orthodox tenents of the faith, the renunciation of formally held beliefs closely followed by the distancing of the ‘disbeliever’ from the fellowship of the orthodox.

But, as intimated, the ‘standing away from’ of apostasy is often more subtle than the denial of orthodox doctrine. Apostasy more commonly manifests itself in the insidious form of spiritual distancing–a relational step away from intimate devotion to Christ toward a cooler formal connection. This is a shift toward a mere acknowledgment and adherence to truths about Christ, alongside the promotion of his mission and ministry–whilst abandoning personal love for him and obedience to Him.

Simply put, relational apostasy manifests when a secondary ‘love’ pushes out our ‘first love’.

Perhaps, the clearest example of this, as presented in Holy Scripture, comes from the book of Revelation, where Jesus personally assesses the status of his Ephesian congregation…

“I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear evil men but have tested those who call themselves apostles but are not, and found them to be false; I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name’s sake, and you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember then from what you have fallen, repent and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.” Revelation 2:2-5 (RSV)

Even by Jesus’ own assessment, the Ephesian Christians were faithful to the ’cause of Christ’. They worked hard for the gospel, endured hardship, stood fast against false teachers and challenged those morally corrupting the good name of Christ. They were genuinely commended for not growing weary in standing for orthodoxy and being champions for the purity of the gospel.

But something vital was missing.

In their quest to stand for the truth, the Ephesians had abandoned intimacy with the truth giver. For them, truth was no longer located in a person but in a principle. They exchanged an intimate love for Christ, for the love for his work. In living a divine purpose driven life, they had forsaken the person behind the life-giving purpose. In advancing the cause of Christ they had left behind Christ of the cause!

This is no trivial matter, Jesus warns that persistence in this state jeopardizes their legitimacy as a church in fellowship with him: ‘…repent and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.’ Rev 2:5 (RSV)

Mercifully, Jesus doesn’t forsake them, he challenges them to remember their ‘first love’. He calls them to soberly remember that joyful intimacy and practical heart-felt obedience they first encountered when initially embracing Jesus as saviour and lord. He calls them to return to a personal devotion to ‘his’ will; to simply love and obey Jesus and His people, for Jesus’ sake!

But how did they drift away in the first place?

How the drift happens:

Though the drift in first century Ephesus may have looked different, the following gives us a general guide regarding the pathway of relational apostasy…

The first true encounter with Jesus is intoxicating. The believer experiences a powerful life transformation; leaving their old life and ways behind, they passionately search for news ways to express devotion to their Saviour. However, the religious model, often presented as the means of expressing devotion to Christ, is usually that of ‘formalized religion’–ministry endeavours of various kinds. The new believer embraces this service with vigour, and because their zeal is animated by their fresh ‘first love’ for Jesus, the results are often impressive.

But here in lies the trap: The human heart is tempted by another exciting love, the love of success in Jesus’ name. This success might manifest as seeing new members come to faith, positive affirmation in the church of your ‘gifts’, or, as in the Ephesian case, successfully defending the cause of Christ among the ungodly. The love for Christ’s service now co-mingles with love for Christ. This is not entirely wrong, but the situation is now primed for the next fatal shift.

The saying of Jeremiah rings true, ‘The heart is deceitful above all things…’ Jer 17:9 (RSV). The first love for Jesus has been taken captive by a deceitful heart infatuated by another intoxicating love–the love of ministry success. Sadly, in some cases, the ‘new’ lesser love, itself, is taken captive by other infatuations–often with tragic results.

The fact is, successful ministry is time-consuming. Coupled with the growing need to maintain success, excitement, and to keep up appearances to the religious affirmers–the first love for Christ is put under pressure. And, when time is short, priorities can easily be compromised–the secretly important gets pushed aside by the outwardly urgent. Of course, these ‘hidden’ important things are the first to fall: Personal prayer, meditation on God’s word, fasting, solitude, and anonymous charity–the very things that serve to maintain that fresh intimacy with Jesus.

Regaining our first love:

I doubt there is a Christian who has not followed, or at least been tempted to follow, this path of relational apostasy and be seduced by the mistress of Christian ministry. But, if Jesus believed the wayward hearts of the Ephesians could return to Him, then it must also be true for all who have wandered the pathway of relational apostasy–even us!

The first step back to Jesus, involves humility. Like the prodigal son, a humble recognition of one’s wayward state needs to be soberly acknowledged. Humility invariably leads to repentance; that heartfelt resolve to turn around the faulty mindset and rectify the undesirable state of being. Of course, this is often hard and usually involves breaking formal alliances associated with the lesser love–sometimes at great personal cost. But the truly humble know that Jesus is always worth it.

Secondly, the returning lover of Christ, needs to reclaim the very thing that enabled them to embrace Christ in the first place–faith. Faith is not merely something to initially ‘get right’ with Jesus and then abandoned in favour of human effort so as to ‘go on’ with Jesus. Faith in Jesus is far more than faith in his ability to deal with your sin penalty. Rather, faith in Jesus is a comprehensive way of life, an all-consuming life of intimate step-by-step trust that continually looks to Jesus for ‘all’ your needs–material, physical, emotional, relational etc.

Faith in Jesus is richer, deeper, and more invasive than most new believers recognize; a fact that is rarely appreciated until the brokenness of relational apostasy deals out its hard lesson. This kind of faith in Jesus looks to him for complete satisfaction, and, in the light of this satisfaction, the temptations of the ministry mistress are much less seductive.

Finally, close personal relationships are too readily taken for granted. They are assumed they will always be there, no matter what. Sadly, this assumption precedes nearly every broken relationship. It is a sobering fact, that meaningful relationships require effort, and as with any personal relationship, regaining and maintaining a rich and intimate relationship with Jesus requires effort, time, and discipline.

Good relationships take time, and the sincere Christian ‘must’ ensure that Jesus gets the best of that time. The practices that augment intimacy with Jesus: Prayer, meditation, reflection on his Word, and anything else that cultivates a deeper walk, need to be given the best and least distracting time we have. Jesus himself, who led a full life of ministry, always gave the best of his time to intimate fellowship with God, ‘Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.’ Mark 1:35 (NIV) Discover your best time, and give it resolutely to intimacy with Jesus.

Give your best, to the best, and your first love will always be Jesus.

Oh yes, and if you are worried that devoting all that precious time to a close personal walk with Jesus will hinder the productivity or effectiveness of your ministry, just remember this simple pastoral maxim, ‘If you carefully tend the fruit tree, the tree will produce the fruit for you.’ The healthier the tree, the richer and more abundant the fruit.